Blogs (All of ’em)

Pencil And Thoughts

I love to write my poems with pencil.
It’s faded shade is similar to my thoughts. You cannot see them clearly. But they are there. Always.

I do not use eraser while I write.
I strike off something I don’t like.
Just like my mind plays hide and seek with me.
And never erase a thing.

There’s no proper book I keep
Just unorganised white blank sheets.
And when this brain feels to play with words.
There, they are anywhere on the paper.

Soft gliding of my slender pencil
Resembles my fragile yet strong thoughts.
Oh, How well they compliment each other.
Unraveling their worth.images (23)

My mood is light or heavy
The imprint on the back of the paper shows.
No wonder, it’s close to me
With or without a stress or so.

With my thoughts and my pencil.
I repeat my pencil and not pen,
I triumph over the world.
For I’m just a human soul.

-Ayesha Alina

 

 

In response to  Daily Prompt: Triumph

Dead Set On

This helpless fad
Upsets me bad.
I don’t know
When to stop.

Or even when,
I do know that.
This whim forbid
To swop.

I go to hell
And come back as well;
In my mind of my mind,
Untold.

I’m breathing ice
I’m breathing storm
I’m breathing fire
And all.

This craziness
This dead set on path
Is fading me
All along.

I still don’t rest
I still don’t stop
I keep heading
In pain profound.

It’s peculiar to find,
Why I’m denying
To stop this
Maelstrom.

Unable to pull off
anything else
Until I sort the previous
Out.

It sometimes help.
But drains me out
Most often,
That I found.

And on and on
Keep pushing myself
I keep going far
Alone.

This habit of mine
Should be put to strike.
It’s so obstinate,
Bent on.

I’m tired remorsefully
With this guileful mind.
Hence, the cycle
Goes on.

 

-Ayesha Alina

Hi, It’s me!

Fluttering feeling
Sparkling eyes
Continuing hopes
Inspite of downs.

 

Hi it’s me!
Just a girl.

 
Heavy rain
Beautiful noise
Gloomy day
Lazy me.

 
Breezy fall
Windy nights
Crackling leaves
Poetic me.

 
Scary fights
Dependable mates
Vindictive world
Philosophical me.

 
Addictive past
Luring present
Indecisive Future
Clueless me.

 
Speeding hormones
Dimming lights
You in sight
Amorous me.

 
Starry nights
To my delight
Infinite sky
Thoughtful me.

 
Misunderstanding eyes
Of closest ties
Neverending fights
Fearful me.

 
Mysterious smile
Deep eyes
Just say surprise
Impatient me.

 
Conflicting Affect
Terrible day
Colliding world
Devastated me.

 
Adrenaline rush
Strange places
Little moments
Delighted me.

 
Orderly Chaotic
Sensibly wild
Tough sensitive
Oxymoronic me.

 
Big world
Bigger strives
Little of everything
Composes me.

 
-Ayesha Alina

Extremities- Everything and None

These extremities
Have always been my part.
Ranging from nothing
to going too far.

Melting in seconds and in seconds ice cold.
Clear as water and then hidden in folds.

Flittering with moment and learning to grow
Slight changes do affect me though.

Filtering my speech and then no filters at all
How long is it when you’ve seen me in the middle, stroll?

Rushing into it, or pacing slow
That instant urge of lowering curiosity
or that lazy flow.

Everything and none.

-Ayesha Alina

In response to the Daily Prompt: None

That Border- I Rise

That Border!
I be on that verge, where I can take no more.
That brim of falling down and preventing not to, in turn filling up what’s already contained.
No, I don’t drink or smoke to deal with that.
It breaks me down…
I know I’m strong. I’ve always been.
I go weak. Pool of tears run down my cheeks like a new well was discovered and the spring just don’t stop. I don’t understand what’s killing me or what not is!
In front of the mirror trying to figure out and asking myself to stop that. Or with my pillow like it’s my ultimate anchor, clutching it to my chest with my nails clawing it, tight. There, there is the scream without a noise.
Broken, shattered sometimes. But I pick every piece one by one. Join them together. Or at least I try. Sometimes, they fall where they were before. Sometimes, it’s in all new form and places and I’m surprised. I’m surprised with what I see, what I feel.
It happens. Not just after, but it takes its own time. Though, I’m the impatient one. I say, I’m strong! Without that vodka playing with my senses.
I die facing it. But I do with all the courage that’s left in me or even with that spark that prop up from somewhere after that dark. I don’t know from where it comes, but I guess it comes from within. Within my screaming soul, for I wanna live. I can’t tolerate to show myself that I can’t stand back up when I have been pushed down. I can’t afford to believe I’m controlled by them, him! This scares me.
I have always had my head up high. I’ll maintain that, no matter what. It’s the beginning after every end I face. I grow strong with all of me, after crossing each border that I thought I cannot.

 

-Ayesha Alina

In response to daily prompt- Border

Talab (Quest)

Be-shumaar hai dil ki daastan,
Humne mukhtasar hi rehne diya.
Aasaan nahi lafzon mein bayaan karna,
koshish jo humne kee
to kaun sa gunah kar diya?

 

Socha tha tumhare andheron mein roshni ka sabab ban jayein,
Tumne to hume khudgarz hi samajh liya.
Ache nahi lagte akele uljhanon mein muqtila.
do lafz meethe jo bol diye
to kaun sa gunah kar diya?

 

Khwabon ke kismat mein to bohot door khade the tum,
kyunkar nazron ne tumhe itna kareeb kar diya.
haqeekat se waaqif
tumse jo muh phera humne
to kaun sa gunah kar diya?

                                                 
Yun to saalon se muntazir rahe hum tumhare
phir bhi na aaye tum ek dafa.
Maazi ko peeche chhod kar,
akele jo aage chal diye
to kaun sa gunah kar diya?

 

“Baat na karo humse” humne kaha, aakhir marz the tum hamare,
ki tumne to hume pehchanne se hi inkaar kar dia.
is marz ka ilaaj dhundte dhundte thak gaye
to ye kaha tha tumse
to kaunsa gunah kar diya?

 

Humne samjha tum samjhoge hume.
Arey! Tumne kya kya samajh liya?
zara khafa hogye hum
ispe agar tumse
to kaun sa gunah kar diya?

 

Mehsoos nahi kar paoge hamari chahatein
ye mehsoos humne kiya.
dabaye rakhkhe lafz humne jo
muskurahaton ke pardon mein
to kaunsa gunah kar diya?

 

 Kabhi na kehne ki jo kasam khai thi humne,
aakhri dafa baat karte waqt wo bhi keh diya.
Berukhi humari achanak to na thi,
khamosh ho gye jo hum
to kaun sa gunah kar diya?

A Token

Value

What’s so wrong with the love we show?
Why is it limited to the ones we know?
World is becoming a scary place
with all the hatred that we share.


Our very own nature around, speak for us.

Did it ever ask for what it has done?
Where did the listening, talking go?
Why has arguing snatched their role?

 

Handful of moments- this is life.
Why breed grievances and cries.
What good has war ever done?
Ever remember a time, in the run?

 

Deep down we all want peace,
Covering it up with a pride so weak.
There’s this strength that love possess,
Helping out the one in distress.

 

How do we let handful of them,
to leave a spark of vengeance?
Those clashes that we land into,
why not cure the ones who made it true!

 

We’ve all heard the above many times.
Why not feel and keep in mind?
Just another pen and paper in the say,
hoping for the change that never stay.

 

Why is it so hard to ignore their faults?
Let’s just forgive and let go that all.
Let’s share the warmth of our heart,
We’ll discuss later what went wrong.